God's Mothering Heart

I have to admit, on one hand I really love Mother's Day, on the other hand I feel this immense pressure to do well by my kids. You see all these wonderful mother's on tv doing the perfect thing, having the perfect family, and the most well behaved kids, and I think, well I have certainly failed! Isn't that just what the enemy wants us to believe. Of course we aren't perfect, of course we mess up, but we aren't failures even if we have failed. We are good mothers. This week my boys came to me with eyes of excitement and anticipation. "Open it, open it!", they exclaimed, as they handed me their school-crafted mother's day gifts. I melt, even before I have opened it. I feel like the most important person of that day. I am showered with love, and the gifts are beautiful, but the creators even more so.
It made me think, this is what God wants for us. He wants us to see that He sees us as very important, and He wants us to be showered by His love, His gifts. They are all around us! He keeps saying, Open it! Are we too busy worried about what we are doing wrong that we miss the joy in opening what He has to offer us? Are we looking at ourselves and just seeing a big mess? A failure? Well, we all make mistakes, but we were beautifully hand crafted by the maker who has made His image in us. He is reflected in what we see around us, but also IN us. So, don't wait until you have everything perfectly put together before you receive the best gift there is. Open it!

The Rainbow...how I want my life to be

I was struck by an article I was reading by a local university describing the science behind a rainbow. Of course, this subject has my highest interest, so even though scientific articles are not often my greatest reading past times this one caught my eye. Part of the article reads: "When light goes through water droplets it is redirected at every surface. First it is bent at an angle, or "refracted" as it enters the front surface. Then it is reflected off the back surface of the droplet, by an effect known as internal reflection. It is refracted once more as it exits through the front surface towards the observer. The different colors each go through this process at slightly different angles so that the combination of angles creates a spectrum of colors. The overall effect is that the incoming light is reflected back and spread out over angles of 40^o to 42^o (less for saltwater) from the center of the anti-solar point." http://www.wwu.edu/skywise/a101_rainbows.html
So many amazing things that God teaches us through His creation, and once again, I am amazed. The use of light going through water shows a saturation, like us, when we are saturated in Christ, His light shines in us. It goes on to say that it is bent, sounds like bended knee to me, then it is refracted (entering in). Now, because of the saturation, so in our case spending time with God (in any way that fits your relationship with Him, we are all created differently and seek Him and hear Him differently) it emits out the color (showing Christ in our lives). I love the part of the different colors, it goes through all different processes. Isn't that the way with us!? Every situation that we go through is different, and it reflects or resonates in our hearts in different ways. Sometimes the way we expect Him to speak to us is not how we He speaks. But, if we hold on, we wait, and we saturate, His love will show through us, and others will see our rainbow, His colors.

Just a little chick

Lately, this scripture verse has been popping up in several diferent circles, and I have to wonder what significance it holds in my life and in others. Here it is:
O Jerusalem, Jerusalem . . . how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing. (Matt. 23:37)
But....you were not willing. Just think about it, God has so much to offer us, His comfort, His guidance, His wisdom. He is an all knowing, all powerful God....and yet, we were not willing.
Imagine this, a mother hen, gathering her chicks. She is providing a protection that the chicks don't even know about yet. This mother has seen others swallowed up by the "enemy", this mother has seen her siblings die from the invadors. She knows, and so when her little chicks want to leave her wings, she turns them around, she keeps them near her, she provides them a safe place to grow.
The interesting thing about this picture is that eventually, the chicks need to learn to do things on their own. But, knowing my mother instinct, I imagine the mother hen nearby keeping a close eye on her young hen to see how they fair in the world, and to come to their aide if need be.
God will give us times in our life where we need to step up (with Him right there next to us) and follow the calling of His lead. He will show us when to hold back, when to prepare for the invader (the enemy) and how to fight back, and He is always there to rescue us and hold us in our defeat, to pick us up and place us back under His wing so we can receive comfort again.
Are we one of those chicks that leaves the mother hen? Do we wonder far from our food source, out of the coop and into the wild because we think we can do this on our own? We can't folks, we are going to get eaten alive by the wolves that surround our world. If we need to venture out into dangerouse territories, and we will have adventures, and the hen's wing may even guide us there, we will not be alone. He is always with us.
I don't know about you, but I often try to face hard times on my own and do it on my own strength, but "If we wait upon the Lord, our strenth will be renewed, we will rise up like wings of eagles, run and not be weary, walk and not faint". So, my trust, and my strength HAS to come from the Lord, or I will fall, and I will be like a lost little chick, out from under the wing of the mother hen.

Rearview Mirror

Just the other day I was looking in my rearview mirror at my two boys (now 5 and 7) singing Christmas carols (to their own words) in the  middle of January mind you. Of course, they started in July, it's a year round thing. Something about that Jingle Bell song and all it's possibilities. I had to laugh at them, and I took a mental picture of how they look now. My oldests teethless grin, my youngest bobbing head. My heart melts for love for them. I looked back and I saw the first baby seat with my first born sleeping away as an infant, or playing with his car seat toys. My husband sees me sitting there trying to soothe him, or give him his bottle. I see a second seat with you youngest, and my almost 2 year old rubbing his head with love and singing him his ABC's. I see them crying because they are too tired, too hungry and beyond themselves, and my love overflows for them. I see "blankies" and pillow pets, travel toys and Gramma squished between two large car seats. I see them listening so well as we travel across the country to settle out west, and I see them far beyond reason fighting and crying at each other, and wishing that moment would end. I see them showing me their first art project, their craft from school, or their loose tooth. I see them seeing me for the first time and showing a sense of comfort knowing that I am right there if they need me. I see so much and so many memories that I hold the photos in my mind, ones I don't want to let go of.

I've often heard, don't look back, don't let the past keep you from moving on to the future, and I only partially agree with this statement. Sometimes we can be so stuck in the past, that we relive the pain of our memories and don't move on. We continue to regret, or "beat up" on ourselves, or we grieve the final outcome. I agree, we don't want to keep living there. We can move on into freedom, if we take the past, and allow God to tell us His truth in those situations, realizing that He was there and we is offering to take the pain, to heal the unforgiveness, to hold you and tell you that you were never alone and He is still right here. If we take the past and let Him enter there, we know we can take a step forward with courage. Time doesn't heal all wounds, only God heals them. So, yes, we do need to look back, but not to stay there, to learn from there. On the other hand it is so good to remember the good things, too look back on our lives (like I have been in my rearview mirror lately) and be thankful for the moments that we have had where God has shown His blessings.

So, whether you are looking in the rearview mirror at a painful memory, or one filled with laughter and love, remember, God is there and He is also lighting the way so you don't have to figure it out or know where you are going. He'll show you, and He is in the reflection.

God's icing on the cake

I love snow! I don't like driving in it, or being behind someone who is scared to death of the fluffy little flakes, but I love to watch as rains from the sky and powders the ground as it falls. It's one more way that God shows us He loves us. White beauty and turns the picture window into a framed winter wonderland. Just to watch it lightly stick on the trees and change them white is a wonder in itself. But, God didn't just intend us to watch from our window. He created it for an adventure. Doesn't that just show how He really is, He wants us to have fun and slide down the slopes, ski through the trees and we watch our breath float away like a cloud and see the blue sky as we swish by. Our God is an adventurous God, He has so much to offer us if we just take on the challenge, the risk of putting on our coat and leaving our view at the window. I also love how each snowflake pattern is unique to its own. It's how He makes everything, including us. We are all unique snowflakes. So, even if we can't move, or slide down the slopes, just to go outside and hold out our woolen mitten and catch a wonder, we can admire His craftsmanship. My kids can't wait to go outside when it snows. My oldest will automatically start a ball and roll it around the yard to the point where all you can see is half grass and a small snowman (shorter than the 8yr. old stature he is). They giggle with delight at the 1-2 inches that fall (in the Northwest it doesn't offen accumulate). I am sure God watches us admire what He has created and chuckles at our delight. Doesn't a father love to watch his children play? I believe our God does. I hope you play today, even if not out in the snow, simply inside your heart, and open your eyes to His wonderment, whatever it might be.

Another year? Or just another day.

Every year, we come to the same place and evaluate our lives. How is the scale, how is my diet, did I exercise enough this year, am I doing what I really want to be doing with my life? Why do we ask these questions? It's not that I am trying to be cynical, I am just wondering if it's really worth it to look at ourselves if we just notice we are falling short of what we expected the following January. I don't make resolutions, it's not that I am afraid I am not going to keep them, I know I am not going to keep them...unless I resolve that I will continue to eat chocolate! I do however evaluate my life and wait in wonder to what exciting new things will happen this year. Then I have to think, how am I going to get there? It's also a time of refection and prayer, where are you leading me God? Will I be taking on too much, or not enough? Am I being the woman that you've designed me to be, or am I just "doing". I have to look at all the things that I am involved in and really ask myself, am I continuing to serve the purpose, the passion that I had in the first place, or is my purpose here done? I realized that one group that I have been involved in, so dear to my heart, has completed it's purpose, and as I look into the new year I can see that the last year has been amazing, but my time is done. It makes me wonder, does God have another purpose for me in some other way, or does he want me to take this time to just rest. Of course, I know, and those who know me, knows well that I don't "rest" much. Resting might look like only being involved in 3 groups that serve different purposes in my life, instead of 4. Either way, it's good, even if it's just a new day, that happens to be in a new year, to ask yourself the question, does my life reflect the purpose and passion that I was created to carry out? I don't think it matters if I am skinnier or less active this year than the last, although being healthy feels great, and I attain to that...but my desire is for my heart to be healthy, and my focus to be in the greater story, not the everyday. So, do you want to go workout? Or do you want to go live out. It's up to you.....every day.

Carefully laid out plans

Last week I just came back from a ladies conference that I spoke at with my friend Taffy, based on the book, "Captivating" by John and Stassi Eldridge. This book, and more importantly, the conference has changed the lives of many women across the globe. So, when Taffy asked me, "Do you want to help me lead a conference?" I had to stop in my tracks and ask myself, "Is God leading me here?" After a few weeks of prayer, God said yes, and I began a journey that would be worth the fight to see the end result. It was not an easy battle. You see, the enemy does not want women to be free from their wounds, and see a glimpse of how God truly see them, or even have the tools to fight off the lies of the enemy. So, me and Taffy were hit hard, by the lies ourself. "You can do this, you are too proud, you are not good enough, you don't know what you are talking about, they aren't going to like you, you aren't even a speaker, this is going to mess up your family, you might lose friends in doing this..." and on and on the lies went. But, we soldered on. God brought us again back to our own journeys, and showed us where we still needed to grow in our faith, and in our relationship. He loved on us, He reminded us of our true character, and how He created us. He healed more wounds, and He prepared us for the weekend that I will never forget. Taffy picked me up at 10am at the airport and we rushed back to her place to finish up loading our "essetials". But, little to our knowledge, she grabbed the wrong computer...with all the media we can carefully and prayerfully planned out. LORD! We need a computer fast! He delivered. As I prayed in each cabin room He started to reveal the hearts of the beautiful women that were soon to arrive. My heart broke, but I was amazed at how He was already preparing me to pray for them. It was a mad scrabble before the first meeting of that day, but by 3:30p Taffy started on her first message, The Heart of a Women. I could see some of the women resistant (I am sure fighting some of the lies we had in the coming weeks). I sensed a desire, so want more, that they were fed up of how things were, and fear of if God was really going to show up, and somewhat of a hopelessness. But, God was there, and all through the weekend He continued to show us, "I've got it". He had us, He had them, He carried us all. As the weekend unfolded, our "perfect plan" was changed, added too, switched around, to become God's perfectly laid out plan. The women opened up, they started to trust, they brought their pain and their tears and their fears to God, and I was overwhelmed by God's power and His blessings. I left that retreat not only in a state of utter amazement for the God of the universe, but also with 15 new strings of friends attached to my heart. As I was driven out to the airport by 2 of my new friends, I didn't want to leave. God brought us close together, and Taffy and I couldn't believe that He brought us through this journey to be blessed beyond our belief. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emYGrVrCv-g&feature=share&list=PLCA3DFA985FA05020